INT. doctor's office - day

DOCTOR

So how can I help?

MAN

I've got a bit of a sore throat.

DOCTOR

OK, lets have a look.

Doctor puts a tongue depressor in man's mouth.

DOCTOR

You do seem to be a little horse

Camera pans back to show that back half of man is a pantomime horse.

MAN

I'm actually feeling a bit fluey.

DOCTOR

Horse Flu maybe?

MAN

So... think you can write me a note to get me out of the Spring Carnival?

DOCTOR

I don't think we want this to spread, so I'll write you a script. Come over to my desk.

Doctor walks across to his desk. MAN follows with a bit of a limp.

DOCTOR

Hey. Something wrong with your leg?

MAN

No, No! I'm perfectly fine. Just the flu.

The doctor bends down to take a closer look at the man's leg.

DOCTOR

I'm thinking you might be lame! We'd better just check you out...

MAN

No, No. Ah, come on Doc, you don't have to do this.

Pleading look doesn't appear to be working.

MAN

What do I gotta do to get out of here, like I never was here?

DOCTOR

What can a guy like you possible do for me?

Well, if you really want something juicy, I can tell you straight from the horses mouth that Donnie's Pride is a shoe in to win tomorrow in the third.

DOCTOR

Hmm. I don't know.

MAN

But he's 16 to 1! That's gotta be worth something.

DOCTOR

Hmm, sorry. Got a code to follow you know.

Doctor pulls out a great big (Pantomime size) hypodermic and give the man a shot straight into his horse's ass.

DOCTOR

And I like putting animals down anyway.

EXT. High street - day

Doctor looks in the window of the TAB, snorts his skepticism and continues. We watch the race unfold on the TV screen as Donnie's Pride wins.

Doctor flags down a cab.

DOCTOR

How much is it to Uptown?

TAXI DRIVER

$15 buddy.

The doctor sees he only has a fiver in his wallet. He sees an ATM across the street. As he goes to cross he is hit by a bus.

TITLES:

"Moral: Never look a gift horse in the mouth"