The blog has been at a halt for some time now, but for convenience i'm dropping in a few photos.

Ruby, fresh faced in the Hospital at one day old.


Mum with Ruby in our garden in Burt St, North Perth.

Daddy with Ruby in our livingroom.

Ruby in the Bath

This is the first attempt at the outline and character arcs for the Ravages screenplay. There are still gaps that i'd like help and suggestions for. Also if you have different scenes in mind or don't agree with the "twist" - main character death - lay it on me.

Hopefully I can create a link here:

The Ravages Outline v1.1

It is a fairly basic Microsoft Excel document at the moment. I'm happy to transfer to an open source (or at least free) spreadsheet program if anyone has any suggestions? Otherwise it should open in Microsoft Explorer too. Not intentionally supporting Microsoft here. In fact I far prefer and am currently using Firefox.

Feedback on the outline much appreciated.

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This post  is really just to get my Joanna-VR picture on the web so I can link in ASOA. Maybe i'll back post some of the bio as I go.

Actually I don't want to overshadow my other post by going into the same group with this post. So I will start here.


Joanna, 42 years old. Had a rough upbringing in North London, breeding a strong survival instinct. Her father died in an industrial accident when she was thirteen. Six months later her mother committed suicide. Joanna was left to bring up a seven year old brother - Andy (Does he get a cameo?). As money ran out they were kicked out of the family home things were looking bleak. Joanna in desperation takes Andy to Kingsland Road. She tucks him down in an alleyway and tells him to stay put. Back on the main street she joins the other streetwalkers to tout for business. A humvee pulls up. A smartly dressed man steps fro the rear door. He waves Joanna in his direction.

The mans name is Alexi, he explains to Joanna in the back of the car that he has brought new technology from Russia into the UK. This technology uses fledgling VR technology to recreate and even amplify the sensations of sex. Wealthy early adopters of VR technology are already growing tired of virtual trips to Paris or the moon. They want the excitement of real contact... conquest. Would Joanna be willing to embrace technology and be a VR-hostes (VR-hooker really). She would have a place to stay and be fed. Andy? Well there may be a gopher type job that means he can stay also.

The youngest of the VR-Prostitutes in Alexi's employ, her young mind seems to meld naturally into the environment. Some of the highest profile customers only pay to be online when Joanna is available. As her reputation increases the coding that goes into her idol makes her ever more alluring and realistic. Bit like this perhaps?



As Alexi's prodigy she builds a business acumen that she now wields mightily post Ravages.

I wonder what happened to Alexi?

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There is some interest at ASOA in the design that I has started. So i'll take you through it:

The following picture is a little out of date, but was really to get a friend (good coder) interested in helping me out.



Key is the segmentation:
Script Level, sequence level, comments. Then there are links through to Character and Location. Using AJAX (program that Gmail uses) it would be possible to be web based, but would only need to refresh the column that you were working on after a submit.

Comments are easy, and would just join to any other section ie: comments on the script as a whole, one particular sequence, or character or location.

Sequences (Try to keep to a page or so each) would be written most likely by one person. The next person is able to start the sequence fresh or edit the last persons version. Their contribution would be noted with the % of changes they made. Different sequences are then voted on and the one with the highest score is considered the main section. Different sections can be brought up next to each other to help comparisons.

Bonus if you have a wide monitor, you can see say: script, two different sequences, comments on second sequence, and maybe the character column. Whatever helps your work flow.

Voting for each sequence focuses on 4 key areas: Script overall; characterisation and use of characters; emotion; and dialogue. These are the clapperboard, head, heart and dialogue icons. An algorithm in the background would judge the importance of each for this type of script and judge the best sequence accordingly.

The editing itself would have been very similar to Celtx.

The more you think about the process the more complex you realise the whole process is.

Interested on opinions.

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Well, PlotBot certainly seems like a good enough collaborative writing system to negate development of another. So I'm putting it to use on some of the collaborative projects that I had envisioned for this site.

A Penny Drops [ Join the writing revolution]

Purpose of this piece is to create 10-30 second scripts that can be filmed on anything from a mobile to an HD camera. Minimal props and one or two actors if possible. The intention is that these will end up on YouTube or mobiles as an extended webisode.


The premise is as follows:

Mike stands on the observation deck of the Empire State Building. It is late afternoon and the sun is just setting. He has a penny clenched between thumb and forefinger. He draws back his arm in ultra slow motion... then snaps elbow, then wrist forward sending the coin out beyond the walls.

In the 10 seconds that it takes to tumble to earth a million separate stories play out in the big apple - here is a snapshot of life.

The longer term purpose of this site was to build a web interface to enable collaborative script writing. At the time there didn't seem to be anything on the market that came close.

Until now...

I've since been directed to a site called Plotbot that while very different from the concept I had created, still does a respectable job of providing the collaborative environment.

Never mind. I'm actually having more fun writing scripts than I would have coding / managing a site. The fun part was coming up with designs anyway.

So anyway, ASOA will now have a go at using Plotbot for " The Ravages" script.

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A Swarm of Angels

" A revolutionary process to create cult cinema for the digital age. Help us invent the future of film, join the Swarm."

Phase 3 has opened on this inspiring project. For a £25 donation you too can participate in a piece of cinema history. By being a crowd sourced film it could well be the ultimate fan based movie.

Or maybe nothing will come of it. I think that it is worth the gamble that this may be a cinematic force into the future. We might have a million people give $30 each to help produce a $30m movie and get the completed film on DVD with producer credits reading:

     Producer: Tim Calnan, with A Swarm of Angels

Producer of your own film for $30. Bargain. And to be frank it is highly unlikely to happen otherwise.

Anyway, I signed up and put money where my mouth was. I've nabbed the "tagline" moniker on the ASOA site too. Write me a hello if you visit.

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Note to Celtx users: There is likely to be collaboration between ASOA and our favourite free screenwriting software. See the article on Swarm - Glitch into the Ravages.

INT. doctor's office - day

DOCTOR

So how can I help?

MAN

I've got a bit of a sore throat.

DOCTOR

OK, lets have a look.

Doctor puts a tongue depressor in man's mouth.

DOCTOR

You do seem to be a little horse

Camera pans back to show that back half of man is a pantomime horse.

MAN

I'm actually feeling a bit fluey.

DOCTOR

Horse Flu maybe?

MAN

So... think you can write me a note to get me out of the Spring Carnival?

DOCTOR

I don't think we want this to spread, so I'll write you a script. Come over to my desk.

Doctor walks across to his desk. MAN follows with a bit of a limp.

DOCTOR

Hey. Something wrong with your leg?

MAN

No, No! I'm perfectly fine. Just the flu.

The doctor bends down to take a closer look at the man's leg.

DOCTOR

I'm thinking you might be lame! We'd better just check you out...

MAN

No, No. Ah, come on Doc, you don't have to do this.

Pleading look doesn't appear to be working.

MAN

What do I gotta do to get out of here, like I never was here?

DOCTOR

What can a guy like you possible do for me?

Well, if you really want something juicy, I can tell you straight from the horses mouth that Donnie's Pride is a shoe in to win tomorrow in the third.

DOCTOR

Hmm. I don't know.

MAN

But he's 16 to 1! That's gotta be worth something.

DOCTOR

Hmm, sorry. Got a code to follow you know.

Doctor pulls out a great big (Pantomime size) hypodermic and give the man a shot straight into his horse's ass.

DOCTOR

And I like putting animals down anyway.

EXT. High street - day

Doctor looks in the window of the TAB, snorts his skepticism and continues. We watch the race unfold on the TV screen as Donnie's Pride wins.

Doctor flags down a cab.

DOCTOR

How much is it to Uptown?

TAXI DRIVER

$15 buddy.

The doctor sees he only has a fiver in his wallet. He sees an ATM across the street. As he goes to cross he is hit by a bus.

TITLES:

"Moral: Never look a gift horse in the mouth"

This will be the master outline and structure document. Lets go a four act structure.

1. Gruesome intro with POV nurse and Hannah on the operating table setting the scene for Asylum
2. Annetta comes to the Asylum
3. Meeting the patients is bewilderingly strange but Freidrick appears kindly and knowledgeable
   
4. First meeting with Kim and the flicker of attraction
5. Kim warns of occult  goings on, this frightens us away. He's weird.
   
6. Stumble onto Freidrick and Aboudja working evil magic on Hannah. She shrieks in terror as a nasty sprite is attached.
7. Turn to flee but captured by the imposing bulk of Torr [First Act turning point]
   
8. Come to chained in dungeon
9. Freidrick enters and tells us of his experiments, his large body of work that will imortalise him once he has gone.
10. Torr feeds Annetta and glows a little with the thanks
11. POV nurse drags  Annetta into operating room. Scene 1 repeats in shot with Annetta on the table.
12. Come to chained in dungeon. Abdouja visits and points and prods his next victim.
13. Torr brings food. Annetta shrieks at the site of the hideous sprite attached to Torr.
14. Torr forgets to lock door as he leaves in confusion. Annetta manages to drag hands from chains, but not without scratching and bloodying her hands.
15. As we move through the labyrinths we see the hideousness that the sprites cause.
    
16. A call by Freidrick over the intercom tells nurses to search for Annetta as she has has a psychotic break and is  a danger to herself and to others.
    
17. Annetta finds her way to the normal wards above ground.
18. Kim bumps into Annetta and draws her to safety as Torr lumbers past.
19. Kim talks to calm Annetta down from her mania. Her feelings grow for Kim a little.
    
20. Freidrick walks in. Kim has betrayed her by enabling the rooms intercom. He tells her it is in her best interest. [False Goal Act II]
21. Back to the dungeon.
22. Freidrick and Abdouja begin their evil magic to attach a frightening creature to Annetta. Torr looks on.
    
23. Torr finally surcomes to torment and guilt deciding to rescue Annetta. Jealousy that Abdouja takes Freidrick's attention also boils his blood. He crushes Abdouja as would a boa constrictor.
24. Annetta takes her chance at escape.
25. More patients and their scary sprites
26. She sees Kim considers calling for his help, but realises that he is practicing his own occult spell. Hannah is squealing on the table. Annetta runs off even more distraught.
27. Kim is in fact performing an exocism and banishes the sprite. Hannah is effectively cured - though can still see sprites.
28. Annetta caught by the POV nurse.
29. Freidrick explains he can do the spells himself anyway. In fact he can make them bigger and better
    
30. Annetta has the mother of all sprites attached to her.
31. Kim and Hannah come across a moppy Torr. They find out Annetta's predicament and rush to help.
32. 
    

Not sure quite what goes her yet, but in the end:

1. Freidrick's lifes work to go up in smoke. He freaks out. Dies gruesomly fighting Annetta.
2. Kim manages a spell that sends all the sprites to oblivion.

This is vaguely looking like a page by page summary. Sort of works. There is a fourth act remaining, and some relationship threads to sew in yet. That should make 90+ pages.

Cool,

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This will be the up-to-date summary of characters. The invention and exploration of character will still happen in the blog entries proper, but I obviously need one account of the truth somewhere.

How much have the characters changed already! 

ANNETTA ROSEN - Protagonist

• Not the new head doctor now. Some more development required to get the best from the antagonists.

FRIEDRICK KERCHNER - Primary Antagonist - Action Line

• Runs and operates the hospital.

KIM LAUTENS - Primary Antagonist - Relationship Line

• Young Priest
• Discovery of the supernatural has him obsessed with the occult. Moral clashes with his religion.
• Smitten with Annetta. His attempts  to help her drive her away as she initially thinks he is mad.
• She almost comes around but seeing him casting spells she believes he is responsible for the horrors.
• He is in fact helping and finally saves the day.
  

TORR - Antagonist - Action Line

• Is a patient
  
• Torr is Freidrick's right hand man (his POV)
• Driven by raw emotion he could turn
  

ABOUDJA - Antagonist - Action line

• A Haitian Priest who is in as a patient
• Assists Freidrick in attaching Sprites and generally being spooky.
  
• Poor relationship with Torr.

Other characters?

Sister?
Nurse in credits? - always in scary POV?
Other patients?

So then, characters are now beginning to take shape. They also seem to be falling into a semblance of a plot inside my brain. Next step is for a master outline to maintain and develop.

Not 100% sure that a blog is the right tool for this, but  it is the concept of commentary and feedback that I hope will make it all worthwhile.